Last Saturday, I spent the evening hanging out with some of my friends including Craig. We had just had some burgers on Oriental Parade, overlooking the beautiful lights of Wellington harbour, and were heading back to our car, when our peaceful evening was shattered by a disturbance on the other side of the road. A small Asian woman was screaming at a large Polynesian man. And I mean screaming. She was so angry that the man was trying to run away from her. The woman never hit the man, but she was definitely verbally abusive. If I was the man, I would have been terrified.

We were very concerned and Craig called 111 to report it as a domestic disturbance. Within about a minute, a police car pulled up and we pointed an officer in the direction of the couple, who were now around the corner, since the man kept retreating, and the woman kept advancing). The police officer sorted out the argument and we heard that they got home OK.

This incident is a perfect example for some of the research I have looked at for my Masters thesis in Psychology. Whenever domestic violence is reported in the media, that image that comes to mind is of a battered woman and her abusive husband or boyfriend. There is even a stereotypical item of clothing for these males to wear, the wifebeater.

Physical Assaults by Women Partners: A Major Social Problem, by Straus (1997) turns the stereotype of domestic violence on its head. Straus found that Women hit men with frying pans and plates, stab men to death and hire men to shoot their own partners. In some samples, women hit men more often than vice versa. In most samples, the rate is 50/50.

And don’t tell me that women were hitting in self-defence. Women threw the first punch more than 50% of the time. Most domestic violence occurs in relationships where both the man and woman are violent.

Even though research suggests that men and women equally bash their partner, more women than men report being injured by their partner due to domestic abuse. This is due to two factors: men are physically stronger than women, and men are less likely to report being abused.
Don’t misread me here. Women being physically abused by their male partners is unacceptable, and I certainly don’t want to gloss over it. I just want to broaden the viewing field here: What about men? And what about women in lesbian relationships, and men in gay relationships?

Why does society view women as unaggressive and define aggressive behaviour as the sole domain of men – when that doesn’t fit reality?

Suzie’s attitude sums up society’s view of women: more delicate, above violence and aggression, and, of course, “you can’t hit girls”.

Perhaps we need a new paradigm. How about “You can’t hit people“?

References

Straus, M.A. (1997). Physical Assaults by Women Partners: A Major Social Problem. Chapter in Men, Women and Gender: Ongoing Debates, M.R. Walsh, (Ed.) Yale University Press: New Haven.

Kirkwood , D. (2003). Female perpetrated homicide in Victoria between 1985 and 1995. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Criminology, 36, pp 152-173

Straus, M.A., & Gelles, R.J. (editors) (1990) Physical Violence in American Families: Risk Factors and Adaptions to Violence in 8,145 Families. Transaction Publishers (New Brunswick, New Jersey).

Hamberberg, L.K., Renzetti, C. (Eds). (1994). Domestic Partner Abuse. Springer Publishing Company, {New York, NY)

Posted by Luke H on Thursday, March 8th, 2007 at 12:54 pm.